My White Christmas

I know this is a bit delayed... but nonetheless here it is...

This holiday was spent with the "in laws" in Boston. I was hoping for a White Christmas. Boy is it ever true that you should be careful what you wish for! I was the only brown face for miles on Xmas eve, in a cozy family reunion of the Burns in this pictaresque New England town. I felt like family though, and relatives showered me with love (and gifts). They were only slightly melancholy though because the family matriarch (brians gramma) died this past year. Nonetheless, there was much to learn from observing the family interact. And I must admit to a few pangs of revelation in my tummy (I am joining this family! -shh!)

Brian's momma made us sleep in separate rooms- which was more of a deal for him than I. It's interesting, they are quite traditional and Catholic compared with mi familia. The upside is that Xmas is really traditional and I got all sorts of gifts. This just does not happen in my family anymore. Maybe it's the kids getting older and more fiscally conservative. Maybe it's the fact that we have smaller kids nowadays who suck up all the attention and $. Either way, I don't mind but it is a pleasant surprise to do a gift exchange. Like old times. The downside is that I was then expected to buy gifts for everyone from Brian's parents to his brother's girlfriend. And I aint cheap! So I pretty much am paying for it now.

Funny story: Brian's great aunt joined us for Xmas dinner. She is 80 somtn and a chain smoker. When I was warned that she is not to find out about the nature of Brian and I's (gasp) re-la-SHON-ship, I KNEW this would be one to write home about gurl! The first thing Auntie Ellie did when she came through the door (after the customary greeting of Ed and Ronnie) was to present me with an old photograph. "I'm supposed to show you this" she says with discernable sarcasm, "I don't know WHY." I look down and to my horror and embarrasment I see a photo of Brian home for the holidays in college- WITH PEROXIDE BLEACHED HAIR. In my attempt to shield Auntie Ellie from my reaction at seeing the love of my life express himself in flaming faggotry, I simply say, "Oh my. . ." At this point she took the photo back and retreated to the kitchen. Read: It all came together for Auntie Ellie.

Next thing you know it the family is congregating in the living room in a very quaint scene from a Norman Rockwell painting- airbrush the Mexican on the couch. Brian's father had just mixed up some delicious cocktails and served a platter of salami, cheese and crackers. His mother spent the good part of the week cleaning the already impeccable home for the anticipated arrival of this special guest. His brother and I sat back and teasingly barked criticisms as Brian attempted to play us some holiday tunes on the piano. Actually, aside from a few rusty notes it was very nice and I marveled at how functional this family operated. Then the question was shot across the room like a cry in the dark, "So are you going to Australia as well?" Auntie Ellie was referring to Brian's plans to get a nursing stint in Sydney. She had put 2 and 2 together, they weren't giving this woman credit. "Um... yeah." I replied. At that moment Brian's mother saved the day as she called on Brian to play a new song.

I have to say that I honestly wasn't uncomfortable, and didn't feel unwelcome by the Great Aunt. It was actually refreshing to have this experience and to be able to get a glimpse into a window to the past. My favorite part was the protocol of grace prior to eating dinner. Brian was called upon to say it- in his own style. But Auntie Ellie was not to be outdone, and she interrupted him twice to point out that he wasn't saying it the "proper" way. He protested that he was saying it his own way and she apologized before allowing him to continue. This really drove it home for me. I mean, we may be on opposite sides of a very old cultural debate. But when it comes down to it, isn't this what family should be about? We sat together and shared in a hearty holiday meal, enjoying each others presence and getting to know one another for the first time in some cases. Both old and new were allowed to co-exist and I would argue that neither threatened the existence of the other. Maybe I'm reading in too deep, but for me this stands out as a very great experience with the Aunt indeed.